From Court to Heart: Lessons in Parenting from a Badminton Player's Journey

In the tapestry of competitive sports, the journey of an athlete often takes centre stage, marked by triumphs, defeats, and the relentless pursuit of excellence. As a young athlete, I distinctly remember how my coach and peers perceived my mother. "I love your mother. She is my favourite mother on the circuit," Balan sir, a coach I deeply respected, would often say. This wasn't just because she was fierce and uncompromising in her expectations, but because her presence was synonymous with winning.

As I navigated the trials of becoming a better player, particularly after a knee injury at 17, I observed a subtle transformation in her demeanour. The fieriness that Balan Sir cherished seemed to melt away into a gentler concern, primarily focused on my well-being rather than just victories. "Is your body okay?" became her recurring question, replacing the demanding inquiries about performance and results. This change, though initially unspoken, marked a significant shift in her approach to parenting an athlete.

It took years for me to truly appreciate what this transformation entailed. The world of sports is brutal, not just for the athletes but equally for the parents. The vicissitudes of competitive play, coupled with the emotional rollercoaster, can be overwhelming. My mother's evolution from a fierce advocate to a nurturing supporter was not a sign of weakness but a profound adaptation to the needs of her child—me.

Reflecting on my journey, I recognise the immense pressure and unspoken challenges parents endure. From witnessing parents reacting vehemently to their child's unfair treatment to observing the extremes of disciplining tactics, I realise that the sports arena is as much a battlefield for parents as it is for athletes. However, a critical question often goes unasked: "Are you feeling okay? Would you like to talk about it?"

Today, as a parent myself to a toddler, I find parallels in the protective instincts and fears that come with watching your child stumble or fall. Each incident leaves a mark, teaching you about the fragility and resilience of life. These experiences have opened my eyes to the profound understanding of what my mother—and, indeed, all parents of athletes—go through. It's about constant worry, silent sacrifices, and unspoken bravery.

During a recent encounter with a mother just starting out on being a sports parent, I shared with her five key principles that helped my parents and me-

1. Start Young

The path to mastery in sports begins at a tender age. I started playing badminton at 9, a common starting age that allows young athletes to imbibe the nuances of the sport naturally over time. Parents play a critical role in recognising and nurturing this aptitude early on. It's essential to assess whether a child genuinely enjoys the sport beyond just playing it as a casual activity. This early recognition is crucial as it sets the foundation for dedicated training and development.

2. Find the Right Coach

Selecting the right coach can make or break an athletic career. My initial training under Santosh Kshatriya in Bombay was instrumental. He instilled in me a robust work ethic and a passion for badminton. A coach’s role is to recognise potential early and to nurture it without reservation, regardless of the hardships. Parents must ensure they choose coaches who are not only skilled but are genuinely invested in their child’s development rather than monetary benefits. It’s about finding someone who values development over dollars.

3. Emphasise Physical Training

Physical prowess in badminton is as crucial as technical skills. The training regimen I underwent, which involved rigorous runs from Andheri to Juhu beach and back, was gruelling but foundational. Indian athletes often face a natural disadvantage in strength compared to European or other Asian athletes, making physical conditioning doubly important. Parents need to encourage a routine that balances skill development with physical conditioning, fostering discipline and resilience in young athletes.

4. Avoid Undue Pressure and Practice Patience

One of the greatest gifts my parents gave me was their patience and lack of pressure regarding outcomes. They celebrated my efforts, whether I won or lost. This nurturing environment allowed me to view each competition as a learning experience rather than a do-or-die scenario. Parents should focus more on incremental improvements and less on immediate results, providing unwavering support regardless of the outcome.

5. Keep It Real and Simple

In an era where the allure of commercialism is strong, it’s easy to equate better equipment with better performance. My journey began with basic gear—a testament to the fact that fancy equipment does not an athlete make. Parents should resist the urge to shower their children with high-end gear from the start. Instead, let progress and necessity dictate upgrades. This approach not only keeps the child grounded but also teaches the value of earning their upgrades.

As I grew older and became a parent myself, I began to understand the profound transformations my mother underwent—from a fierce advocate to a nurturing presence. This shift was initially spurred by my injuries and the vulnerabilities they exposed. Over time, I realised that her evolution mirrored her deepening understanding of my needs, not just as an athlete but as a person.

Reflecting on these parental dynamics has made me more aware of the silent trials parents endure in the world of sports. It has also inspired me to reach out to other parents, helping them navigate the complexities of raising athletes. Just recently, during an interaction with a young badminton player and her mother, I found myself extending the conversation to how she, the mother, was coping. Her teary response highlighted an often-overlooked truth: parents need as much support as the athletes themselves.

In this demanding landscape, building supportive communities for parents is essential. These communities can offer a space to share experiences, seek advice, and simply receive reassurance that they are not alone in their struggles.

As I think back to my mother's journey and my own role as a parent, I realise the dual shades of parenting—fiery and fairy—are both vital. They teach us resilience, adaptability, and the importance of emotional support. To all parents navigating this path: your journey is invaluable, and your sacrifices do not go unnoticed. Happy parenting, and remember, you're shaping champions, not just in sports but in life.

Grateful for them 🙂

In this very personal article by Aditi Mutatkar, our Head of Athlete and Women's Initiatives and a former international badminton player, explores the critical, often overlooked role of parents in the world of competitive sports. Dive into her unique insights and learn about the vital support systems behind successful athletes. Do not miss the story of how her ‘fiery’ mother turned into a ‘fairy’ mother, thanks to the pressures of being an athlete parent.